saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
