problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His nipple licking is glorious
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