the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Congratulations! We have a period
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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