did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
