I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
