I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The power of my boobs compel you
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
