Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
