How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
