Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
