69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
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So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.