haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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