drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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