Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
should my penis look like a turkey
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
