just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
