His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
