I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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