I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
