I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So squirting runs in the family.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
