"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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