im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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