i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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