if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
