the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
