Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
