plz talk dirty to me
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
