So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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