a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
