Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
