Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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