Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
