I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
