I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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