You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The ass gains better be worth it
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