Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need a burrito and a hug.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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