He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
