After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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