me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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