I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
