you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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