So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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