The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
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i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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