I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A bitchslap is in order.
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