is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
