I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So vagazzling was a success
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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