i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
