You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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