I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
