don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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