just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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