Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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