I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she peed on how many people?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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