A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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