I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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