True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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