I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
