I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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