Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
