Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
