Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
