I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
