Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
