it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
