names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
