I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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