remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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